Here are some challenges that counselors often face, with suggestions about meeting them.

The client is silent.

• If the client is silent at the start of the meeting, gently call attention to the silence. You could say, “I can see that it is difficult to talk. It’s often that way for new clients. I wonder if you are feeling a little anxious?” Look at the client and use body language that shows empathy and interest. Wait for the client to answer.
• During discussion, silence can be okay. Sometimes the client is thinking or deciding how to express feelings or thoughts. Give the client time to think.

• A client may cry for different reasons—to express sadness, to win sympathy, out of stress or nervousness, or to stop further discussion. Do not assume why the client is crying.
• Wait for a while, and, if crying continues, say that it is all right to cry—it is a natural reaction. This permits the client to express the reasons for crying. It is okay to ask the reasons gently.

• Counselors may feel anxious if they are not sure what to advise. The counselor is a reproductive health expert but does not have to solve every problem for the client. Express understanding. Sometimes this is what the client really wants. Also, suggest others who could help.

• Say honestly and openly that you do not know the answer but together you can find out. Check with a supervisor, a knowledgeable coworker, or reference materials, and give the client the accurate answer.

• Correct the mistake and say you are sorry. It is important to be accurate. It is not important to look perfect. Admitting a mistake shows respect for the client.
• Be honest. The more honestly you express your own feelings when appropriate (without revealing your personal life), the easier for the client to do the same.

• Emphasize confidentiality and ensure privacy.
• If the client wishes, arrange for another counselor.

• In general, try not to talk about yourself. It takes attention away from the client.
• You do not have to answer personal questions. The relationship between client and counselor is a professional one, not a social one.
• It can help to talk about your own family planning experience if you wish. Or you can describe what happened to someone else, without using names or identifying them as other clients.
• Sometimes the client asks if the counselor has the same problem. It is best not to say yes or no. Instead, you can say something such as, “I’m familiar with that kind of situation. Please tell me more.”

• This client may actually be asking for help. You can ask questions such as these: “You seem to be having trouble reaching a decision. Perhaps you are not quite ready? Would you like to discuss this further? Do you need more information? More time to think? Would you like to talk this over with someone else—perhaps your spouse or your parents?”
• You can say, “I can answer your questions and help you think about your choices, but you know your own life best. The best decisions will be the decisions you make yourself.”
• If a client cannot decide on a family planning method now, provide condoms or spermicide for use in the meantime.