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Justifications for violence frequently evolve from gender norms—that is, social norms about the proper roles and responsibilities of men and women (94). Typically, men are given relatively free reign as long as they provide financially for the family. Women are expected to tend the house and mind the children and to show their husbands obedience and respect. If a man perceives that his wife has somehow failed in her role, stepped beyond her bounds, or challenged his rights, then he may react violently.

Worldwide, studies identify a consistent list of events that are said to “trigger” violence. These include: not obeying her husband, talking back, not having food ready on time, failing to care adequately for the children or home, questioning him about money or girlfriends, going somewhere without his permission, refusing him sex, or expressing suspicions of infidelity (10, 39, 189, 204, 233, 303, 341, 407, 451, 488). All of these constitute transgression of gender norms.

In many developing countries women share the notion that men have the right to discipline their wives by using force (see Table 2). In rural Egypt, for example, at least 80% of women say that beatings are justified under certain circumstances (132). One of the circumstances that women most often cite is refusing a man sex (23, 103, 132, 386). Not surprisingly, refusing sex is also one of the reasons women cite most often as triggering beatings (248, 322, 475, 488).

Societies often distinguish between just and unjust reasons for violence, as well as between acceptable and unacceptable amounts of aggression. The notion of “just cause” permeates findings on violence in many countries. Certain individuals, usually husbands and elders, may have the right to chastise a woman physically for certain transgressions, but only within limits. If a man oversteps these limits by becoming too violent or for beating a woman without “just cause,” others have cause to intervene (189, 210, 368, 407). As a woman in Mexico put it, “If I have done something wrong..., nobody should defend me. But if I haven't done something wrong, I have a right to be defended” (189).

Even where culture itself grants men substantial control over female behavior, abusive men generally exceed the norm (240, 382, 386). For example, data from the Nicaragua Demographic and Health Survey (DHS) show that, among women who were abused physically, 32% had husbands who scored high on a scale of marital control compared with only 2% among women who were not abused physically. The scale included such behavior as the husband's continually accusing his wife of being unfaithful and limiting her access to family and friends (386).