Still, many men have negative attitudes about women choosing and using contraception. Some men fear that contraceptive use will make their wives independent of their control (98). They fear that their wives will have sex with other men if they no longer risk pregnancy (84, 98, 241). Some men may be unwilling to have their wives adopt family planning because they themselves know little about it. Some do not want their wives talking with strangers about sex and reproduction. Some worry that contraceptive use will harm their wives' health or their own (3). Some oppose contraceptive use for religious reasons (84, 155). Some men think that large families reflect their masculinity or their wives' faithfulness in serving them (84, 98).

These male attitudes about contraceptive use are part of some men's broader fears. Traditional social norms often have required men to maintain the honor and position of their extended family, village, religious group, or other social organization. Therefore men feel responsible for the behavior of their wives and children and think that women have no right to make decisions for themselves (88, 132, 295).

Men are not alone in imposing limits on women. Many mothers, even wealthier, better educated women, prefer sons and take better care of them (1, 374) (see side-bar Son Preference, Daughter Neglect). In some places women dominate their sons' wives, pressure them to have many children, and even physically abuse them (80, 211, 262, 297).

Paternalistic traditional norms are no excuse for the mistreatment of women, however. Violence against women, including violence from their husbands and other family members, can be condemned by religious and political leaders and prohibited by law, and the law, enforced. Also, legal changes in a variety of areas affecting women's well-being can be the catalyst to changing community norms (see side-bar, Efforts for Legal Change).

Economic and social changes, too, are requiring couples to be more flexible about gender roles. More and more, both partners must produce income to support the family. As a result, men are finding that a wife with many skills can help support the family. In 1990 women made up 42% of the paid labor force in the developed world and 33% in the developing world (331). The need for women to earn income has changed gender roles. In the US some husbands and wives are arranging to work different hours, and more men are caring for the children. In 1991, 20% of children under age five were cared for by their fathers at home while their mothers went to work (233).

Some men find that they have gained through improvements in their wives' status. For example, in Colombia the Instituto Colombiano Agropecurio provides poor women with small loans and on-going help with planning and decision-making. The women and their husbands have worked together to make their enterprises succeed and to take care of their homes. Both husbands and wives said that they benefited from the project. The women became more self-confident and knowledgeable about dealing with local institutions such as schools and markets. Their new confidence made them better advocates for the family (278). In Zimbabwe and other areas of Africa, husbands report that their wives' employment as family planning field workers enhanced the prestige of their family. These men support their wives in their new positions even if the women do not bring in additional income (188).

Some men may see that, in the future, their daughters will need to be more self-sufficient than their mothers were. These men may favor more education for their daughters and better access to other opportunities as well.